Saturday, May 12, 2012
Hell-oh, sick people!
It was nice knowing that I didn't have to wake up this morning and drag myself to school because honestly, school has been a dread....or maybe it's just me. I do not want to step in class. Maybe it's because of the change of class but I merely enter class because I have to. I want to learn and enjoy what I do. I don't want to do my work only to get the grades. I dont want to have that mentality that I'm a great designer if I achieve the best grades in the world or be on the Director's List. Because I know I can never win all these competitive sons of bitches in my course. I know the more I push myself, the more I hate what I'm doing, the more I hate the fact that I might never be as good as any of them and the more I feel like I have no success in the future. I don't want to feel that way but I still do.
Thank goodness for a free Friday. I think it was refreshing to head out with my mom, my sister and my cousin to Arab Street to find fabric for Hari Raya. Despite the fact I have a huge pile of work to do, I think I would rather head out and spend quality time with them. They are one of the reasons why I think my life is complete. I had an amazing time choosing fabric, an amazing time chilling with them at Maison Ikkoku café. I like laughters, I legit love it so with them, their company and their smiles are what I will always treasure all my life.
April was a rough month and even though it's already May, it's still tough. I wish people who have left would tell me why I suddenly don't matter to them and I wish those who have been around would tell me why I still matter to them. Some people have been disappointing me. But I seriously believe that I've been the biggest disappointment. And that's a shit feeling.
See you strangers.
It was nice knowing that I didn't have to wake up this morning and drag myself to school because honestly, school has been a dread....or maybe it's just me. I do not want to step in class. Maybe it's because of the change of class but I merely enter class because I have to. I want to learn and enjoy what I do. I don't want to do my work only to get the grades. I dont want to have that mentality that I'm a great designer if I achieve the best grades in the world or be on the Director's List. Because I know I can never win all these competitive sons of bitches in my course. I know the more I push myself, the more I hate what I'm doing, the more I hate the fact that I might never be as good as any of them and the more I feel like I have no success in the future. I don't want to feel that way but I still do.
Thank goodness for a free Friday. I think it was refreshing to head out with my mom, my sister and my cousin to Arab Street to find fabric for Hari Raya. Despite the fact I have a huge pile of work to do, I think I would rather head out and spend quality time with them. They are one of the reasons why I think my life is complete. I had an amazing time choosing fabric, an amazing time chilling with them at Maison Ikkoku café. I like laughters, I legit love it so with them, their company and their smiles are what I will always treasure all my life.
April was a rough month and even though it's already May, it's still tough. I wish people who have left would tell me why I suddenly don't matter to them and I wish those who have been around would tell me why I still matter to them. Some people have been disappointing me. But I seriously believe that I've been the biggest disappointment. And that's a shit feeling.
See you strangers.
