Sunday, January 29, 2012
Hell-oh, sick people!
I've been listening to this on repeat, it's so beautiful, I don't know any other words to describe this song 'Give Up' by Jack Steadman. I think it's so strong. I think it helps my thoughts settle itself. I guess it's really one of those nights.
Oh fuck, there goes our love again.
Cause you don't know when the hell to shut up, no.
Yeah, we might as well, might as well just give up.
Yeah, we might as well, might as well just give up again.
I guess this is because I don't know who to confide in. And I know this sounds...stupid because it's been 2 weeks but I miss Bombay Bicycle Club so much. I guess it's because they produce such amazing music. You know how I've always thought that music is about sound? How it has always been about sound and not lyrics? And how the sound always describes my feelings? Yeah, well they do that. I don't know how and I can't explain how. I just recently fully checked out Jack Steadman's solo side projects and I'm so in love. I'm so hypnotized every night and crazily insane. They make me want to explore so many parts of music. They made me miss who I used to be or rather what I dreamt to be.
Well, I guess the past few days, I've been feeling alone. Or not, probably more lonely. I've been thinking a lot. About everything, about why things happen, about what actually happens, about life, about where, about who I am, about why I'm here, how I got here, if I were to lead a different life. But I'm a happy person. I started believing that happiness comes in so many levels and even when I feel this way, I feel happy. I feel so free.
And anyhow, I constantly keep having flashbacks of their concert and how alive I felt. And every time I do, I thank God a lot actually. For giving me the opportunity to meet them and how happy I've been and basically everything else that happens in my life. Everyone I know that went to The People's Party has moved on and I haven't, I'm stuck in that dreamland and I have no idea why and I don't get it. It's probably because I listen to BBC everyday. How I swayed to their music during the gig, smiling at Jack singing all of the songs that I only imagined would come out from my earphones. I guess their music relates to what I feel everyday. But I have no one to share this information, I just want to constantly talk about it. I just want to talk about music. I want to have a cup of coffee with someone and just talk about everything, about BBC, about bands, about gigs, about music in general. I just want to sit and talk about all of that for as long as possible. But...am I even sane? Am I sane?
2012 is a thinking year. I haven't stopped since the beginning. I think this is just a phase and I hope to get over it soon.
See you strangers.