<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d8634264109056659385\x26blogName\x3dHands+down,+I\x27m+too+proud+for+love.\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://n-md.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://n-md.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-8270390970830570232', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

81. What if
Monday, May 19, 2014

What if you suddenly don't really know about what you wanted to do and who you wanted to be when you used to be so certain about it?

I am not ready for the future. Is this really the way to go? Do I really want this? I have never ever doubted embracing the days that come by. I always loved the new day just because I know I get to breathe for one more day. But I never thought that I could feel so much emptiness as the day turns to night. I am clueless. What do I do now and how to get back the adrenaline rush I used to have about life?

Or is it because of the constant late nights I have that brought me to this stage? The constant unnecessary thoughts about things and especially about people that I analyze far too deeply unknowingly that makes me feel utterly pathetic. It drains me. How is it possible that I feel a mixture of emotions all at one go? How do I lift it all off my chest feel what I should at the right time? It has been a hell of a roller coaster ride with my feelings this week and I do not know what to do with it.

How do I have so much excitement one moment only to feel extremely low the next?

Damn, I need some fucking ice cream.

See you strangers.

Nidia Marissa Donyada
Design Student, 21

This space will let you immerse in a part my world;
An avid gig goer who sadly spends an immense amount of time on Twitter having peculiar dreams. My mind is filled with overflowing thoughts and questions.

Ask | Instagram | Tumblr | Twitter

Best viewed on Google Chrome.

I was younger

By posts: By month: